


i wished you the best of all this world could give

by birichie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Kinda, M/M, Sad, Unrequited Love, angst angst angst, set in the 40s, ww2 mention but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 17:58:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13816476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birichie/pseuds/birichie
Summary: At age 16, James Barnes loved Steve Rogers and the way he looked under the downpour the harsh winters in Brooklyn had delivered. He loved the way Steve’s eyes would light up and the way he’d smile into the sky; how he didn’t care if he got sicked afterwards, he’d always be out in the rain. The wind that accompanied the rain would always make Steve feel like he could fly, would make his hair go wild, would make him feel free and like he had no care in the world. How it’s ripple through his loose fitting clothes that Bucky still adored.





	i wished you the best of all this world could give

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first fic on here so please be easy on me :)) this is also my first time attempting to write anything Stucky/Marvel related.

**AT AGE** 16, Steve Rogers loved the rain. The way it felt upon skin and the way it smelt, but what he loved most was the aftermath of it; everything just seemed more beautiful with the soft glow of a distant rainbow. At age 16, James Barnes loved Steve Rogers and the way he looked under the downpour the harsh winters in Brooklyn had delivered. He loved the way Steve’s eyes would light up and the way he’d smile into the sky; how he didn’t care if he got sick afterwards, he’d always be out in the rain. The wind that accompanied the rain would always make Steve feel like he could fly, would make his hair go wild, would make him feel free and like he had no care in the world. How it’d ripple through his loose fitting clothes that Bucky still adored.

 

“Buck” Steve would laugh from the middle of the empty road at the stroke of midnight “Come on” and then he’d give Bucky the look and Bucky knew that he’d never be able to resist, so without a moment's hesitation he’d be out in the middle of the same road kicking water from the puddles and embracing the music that was Steve’s laughter. At age 16 James thought to himself that if time were to stop right now, he’d be fine with it.

  
  


At age 20,  Steve stops spending nights with James as often as he use to. Evidently Bucky knew that this time would come, but it never stopped the pain in his chest when he’d see Steve the next day with a blush that would over take his whole body when Bucky had asked him what he’d been up to the previous night. Steve’s eyes would light up and his body would go as light as a feather as he’d gush about the girl he met down the street with “ _ the soft red lips and the beautiful brown hair and how she has the softest hands and Buck, I think I might be in love.” _ And all Bucky could do was put on his bright fake smile and pull the other man into his arms exclaiming about how happy he was, how his boy was finally going to become and man. At age 20, James knew he wouldn’t be loved in the way that he wanted to be loved, and how one day he’d be okay with that.

  
  


It was at age 25 that Steve Rogers finally gotten down on one knee in front of all of the important people in his life and told Peggy how “ _ he’d never felt anything like he’s felt for her and how he was beyond in love and would be the happiest man alive if she would make an honest man out of him and say Yes” _ when he opened the small red box which held a small diamond in it. She had cried a  _ “Yes” _ and everyone had cheered as he jumped from the the ground and spun her into a tight hug giving her a kiss that Bucky would weakley smile at because it’s nearly been 10 years since that night they shared in the middle of the street in the midst of a cold January night and he was okay. Truly, he was. The smile he’d been wearing for years becoming more believable as the days, weeks, months and years went by. He’d met Steve’s eyes from the side of the room the current party was taking place in and before he had time to blink, Steve was being ushered away with Peggy in arm as they make their rounds through friends and family with smiles as bright as the sun in the middle of a July day. And even if Bucky was feeling lonely as ever, the voice in his head reminded him that sure, things might suck now but  _ you’ve got a whole flask of whisky and a whole life in front of you _ , and somehow that tiny bit of encouragement is what kept him going.

  
  


At age 26, Steve Rogers was officially married with Peggy Carter-Rogers ready to take the next step in their lives. At age 26, James Buchanan Barnes was officially a soldier of war.

  
  


At age 34, Steve Rogers found all the letters that James had been writing since he was 16 years old expressing how Steve’s smile was the warmth that he felt in the winter and his laugh was the music he wanted to listen to for the rest of his life. At age 34, Steve was finally exposed to the true feelings his best friend had felt for close to two decades. How if at some point Bucky had just realised that Steve had looked at him like he was the most beautiful star in the sky and how he needed him like flowers needed sunlight, then maybe Bucky would still be here. He wouldn’t have enlisted and been sent out to fight a war that was far too big and far too dangerous for the flower that James Buchanan Barnes once was.

  
  


At age 34, Steve Rogers along with Peggy and only a few other people attended the funeral of James Buchanan Barnes, who died aged 34. Loving son, brother and friend. A brave soldier who gave his life for this country and the people living here today and in the years to come. 

 

As he was left alone with the silent sob that overtook his shaking body and tears that hurt his eyes, Steve finally let the words he’d been wanting to say since he was 16 years old fall out of his lips and into the empty apartment that once belonged to the only person who would ever completely understand that Steve Rogers was more than just a bright smile;

 

“I love you, James Barnes. Since we were 16 years old.”

 

And as a sudden gust of wind blew the curtains from the open window in the bed room, Steve knew that he’d always have Bucky beside him and the love in his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> this is unedited for now but i will go back through and fix up all my mistakes in the morning.


End file.
